Funny jokes, LOL moments what ever the hell you think is funny

Post your funny shit here lol

chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table,because the only element he understood was the element of surprise.

Here's an old one. But it might make people start posting ;P


Why do cows wear bells???

A: Because their horns don't work

=mYh=Gulla wrote:Here's an old one. But it might make people start posting ;P


Why do cows wear bells???

A: Because their horns don't work

ROFL

What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino?

el-if-i-no

Whats the difference from Santa and Tiger Woods?


A: Santa stops with only hoes

Why should you never date a woman you find in a launderett?

Coz if she cant find a washing machine at home she aint never gona find beer for ya

i got nothin' xD

Five Important Qualities

1. It's important to have a woman, who helps at home, who cooks from time to time, cleans up and has a job.
2. It's important to have a woman, who can make you laugh.
3. It's important to have a woman, who you can trust and who doesn't lie to you.
4. It's important to have a woman, who is good in bed and who likes to be with you.
5. It's very, very important that these four women do not know each other.

AHAHAHAHA love that one

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! i LOLED!!!!!

Here are a few in the winter spirit ^^ Not as good but silly enough

Q: How do you know when there is a snowman in your bed ?
A: You wake up wet !

Q: What do you get if cross a snowman and a shark ?
A: Frost bite !

Which of Santa's reindeer has bad manners?
Rude-olph

What do reindeer always say before telling you a joke?
This one will sleigh you!

hahaha that one sleight me xD

A blonde gets home early from shopping and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom.She rushes upstairs to find her husband naked on the bed, sweating and panting.
"What's up?" she asks."I'm having a heart attack," cries the husband.The blonde rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as she's dialing, her four-year-old son comes up and says, "Mommy! Mommy! Aunty Shirley is hiding in your closet, and she's got no clothes on!"The blonde slams the phone down and storms upstairs into the bedroom, right past her husband, and rips open the closet door. Sure enough, there is her sister, totally naked and cowering on the closet floor."You rotten bitch", she screams, "My husband's having a heart attack, and you're running around naked scaring the f****** kids!!"

some chuck norris jokes guys x)

Chuck Norris takes 20 minutes to watch the program "60 Minutes"
Chuck Norris can burn ants using a magnifying glass. At night.
Chuck Norris does not "love", he can just "do not kill."
Nothing can escape the gravity of a black hole, except Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris eats black holes for breakfast. They taste like chicken.

hahahahaha some people don't like but whatever xb enjoy

i love chuck norris jokes, always did!

Boy: "Do you want to play the fire engine game?"
Girl: "How do you play that?"
Boy: "My fingers are the fire engine and I drive up your legs. You say 'Red light!' when you want me to stop."
Girl: "Okay, let's play."
After a few seconds...
Girl: "Red light!"
Boy: "Fire engines don't stop for red lights."

Adolf Hitler: I said: a glass of juice, not Gas the jews!

One day a blonde was in a sea food restaurant, she saw the lobsters in the tank and took pity on them, so she hid them in her purse.
Later that day she went to the woods to set them free

What do you call a group of blondes laying on the beach?
A. Public access.


What do you call 3blondes and a brunette in a corner?
A. You don't you see if you have 3 condoms

here is a trinidadian joke guys why can`t trinis an Chinese play football together ?
becuz ever time a trinidadian get a foul they cook it
an every time a Chinese get a corner the build on it lmao hope u like

you think your life sucks? try being a chicken egg. you only get laid,sat on, and eaten once.

haha, lawl, PWNED MONKEY! are you sad?

I will take that as a yes

Stephen Hawkings was tending Chuck Noriss...

a man walked into the bar ....

he didnt get a drink after that all he got was an ambulance

i know not funny but hey i have to say somthing ...